The Mezzanine

Met some of my new coworkers this morning.

Our desks are arranged into groups (or "pods"). My pod has apparently been christened "Rivendell". We are preparing for a pod-decorating competition against the other pods, including the nearest: "King's Landing".


...I think I'm going to like these people.

I've been going for lots of job interviews lately, and not talking about it - so that I don't jinx anything - but one thing I did want to briefly touch on was the names of their meeting rooms.


The firms I've been having interviews with all have themed meeting room names, which are quite fun. (I work for the government. Fun is not applicable here. We work in a non-themed environment, and it is extremely boring.)

My favourites so far:

- a font theme, with "The Helvetica Room" and "The Arial Room" and so on, all given signs in their respective fonts

- a sci-fi locations theme, with "Tardis", "Roswell", and probably many others that I didn't get a chance to see


One day, when I own my own business, I'm going to name the meeting rooms after characters - "the Esme Weatherwax room", "the Tuppence Cowley room", "the Amelia Pond room" - and see how many people notice.

The big boss has just moved out of his office, and is now sitting among us plebs. Apparently, he's been sequestered away from us for so long that he's forgotten what it's like out here. Which led to the not-so-big boss sending us a memo:

Big Boss is now sitting in the open office area and has noticed people around him spending a lot of time
1. on the internet
2. chatting loudly about non-related work topics for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours...
3. conducting other business
4. not being in the office*
5. swearing

Please keep an eye out for this and if you see it happening kindly ask those involved to stop.

*I ask that if you are going out of the office for a meeting, lunch, fresh air, smoke, coffee, run, jog, gym or home you edit your status in Sametime.

Which... just...

*facepalm*

1) The person he's noticed on the internet is probably me. Reason being, my manager was away last week and left me with no work. So, in between getting up every half an hour and walking round the building trying to find stuff to do, I checked my flist and email.

2) The people chatting about non-work topics (who are not me) are doing what people in offices do. They're still getting their work done - so what's the issue?

3) Given that the list of approved reasons to leave the office include fresh air, smoking, and coffee, what on earth would be wrong with having a mental break for a few minutes and making a personal phonecall, rather than getting up from your desk, going elsewhere, and making exactly the same personal phonecall? (Also not something I've done this week - but the people I've seen doing so have been calling people who won't be available outside of working hours. And no-one's ever had a problem with this before.)

4) "Sametime" is the office IM system. I don't use it, because having IMs (never anything important - usually just "Hey!") interrupt me actually distracts me from my work. I'm not going to log in purely so I can leave a message letting people know I won't be available to IM until I... get back to my desk and turn IM off so I can work.

5) Swearing? Seriously?
From what I've heard, the people around here are swearing, on average, to about the same extent that I do right here on my blog. THAT'S NOT MUCH.


I really wish high-up executives would calm down and get used to the real world.

Act One - Malicious Gremlins

Gremlins: Hmm, what mischief can we manage today...

Computer Files: *sit on computer, humming happily, and feeling neatly sorted*

Gremlins: A-ha! *pounce*

AN EPIC BATTLE ENSUES, ENDING WITH...

Gremlins: *drag hapless computer files off to their dungeon, cackling maniacally*


( two more acts )

Mez working as an engineer:
...
...
*stares out the window*
...
...
*checks email*
...
...
(repeat ad infinitum)


Mez working as an editor:
*starts reading document*
"What?"
*continues*
"What on earth?"
*reads some more*
"No! NO NO NO NO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
*frantically red-pencils the page*
"ARGH! No! Stupid- Why would- BAD WRITING! SO BAD! Gah!"
*has now reached the end of page 1*


I'm not exactly the most relaxing colleague...

My boss is making us do Myers-Briggs tests so that we can understand each other better. An idea I approve of, in theory.

In practice... I kinda hate Myers-Brigss. Mostly because I've never been able to figure out what I am. (Except for the "I-not-E" bit, which has been completely obvious since I was born.)


I really prefer the personality tests with four categories. You know - the ones that are always exactly the same, but try to pretend they're new and different by giving them funky names. (I've seen "earth; air; fire; water", "lions; otters; golden retrievers; beavers", "heart; mind; body; soul", "red; blue; yellow; green", and countless others.)

Me? I'm a phlegmatic, a yellow, an air, a golden retriever, a soul...

Actually, just "phlegmatic" will do. (Come to think of it, the Myers-Briggs one is just four letters long - maybe that'd be preferable.)

First day of work after my holidays, and I had to change my password again.

The work computers want new passwords every month or so, without using any of the previous 12 passwords, please. As you can imagine, this really stretches your imagination.

Especially because I really can't manage to do the same password with a rotating number at the end - ilovefish1, ilovefish2, ilovefish3, etc - so I have to come up with a brand new password every time.

Recent iterations have included:
Peter Parker
Clark Kent
Buffy Summers
Dawn Summers
Fred Burkle
Tara Maclay
Illyria
Gwen Raiden

(Notice a trend?)


I am now going through Avatar: the Last Airbender with a fine-tooth comb, looking for new password possibilities. Which is fun, because I can imagine Sokka saying things in a sarcastic tone - and somehow that makes them much easier to keep in my head.

Are you checking my tagged entries?

Everything's cross-posted from here to LJ, these days. But my earlier stuff wasn't.

If you're looking for a tagged entry from my LJ-only days, please look here.