(my alignment is pragmatic evil)

Watching tv last night, I decided that when I become a mob boss, I'm going to institute a very generous retirement program.

Almost every mob boss I've ever seen on tv has had their downfall arrive via a mob guy who "just wants to get out of the game", but knows that "get out of the game" is pretty much the same as "get horribly slaughtered by my former employer", and is thus desperate enough to hand said employer over to the cops.

Hence, during my reign as mob boss extraordinaire, I will greet anyone wanting to "get out of the game" with encouragement and understanding. I will then provide them with a generous sum of money (based on their years of service) and with the full use of their limbs. Provided that they never open their mouths about their time in my employ. And also that they don't steal from me on the way out the door - another common problem.

I will then make it clear to them that, should they feel the need to break our agreement about the not-talking and not-stealing, I will also feel duty-bound to break my agreement about the full use of their limbs.


I think it's a workable plan.

also, Amelia Pond is exceedingly cute

My brain has a weird relationship with tv split-screens.

Every time I watch The Parent Trap, I spend half the movie trying to figure out what Hallie and Annie's distinguishing features are - before once again realising that they're both Lindsay Lohan and by definition have the exact same face.

And tonight? I was rewatching Doctor Who, when Amy and Amelia got together and started talking... and I spent far too long wondering what kind of split-screen they were using. And then realised that, even though they're playing the same person, they're two different actors. They're obviously two different actors. Who couldn't possibly be mistaken for the same actor. And yet...

Like I say. My brain has not yet learned the difference between fiction and reality. One of these decades I'll figure that out.