The Mezzanine

Pet peeve on the subject of Hogwarts houses: people deciding that, clearly, a character must be in Slytherin, just because they're evil.

So Angelus, Spike, Lex Luthor, Scorpius, Sylar, Biff Tannen, Reynard, Norman Osborn, Kate Argent, Fire Lord Ozai, and Magneto are clearly all in Slytherin. And there is no personality difference between them. No difference in how they'd each approach a problem.



Seriously, I'm pretty sure that Angelus is a Ravenclaw, and Lex Luthor (at least in his Smallville incarnation) is a Griffindor.

Also, Veronica Mars – who is, in no way, at all evil – is clearly a Slytherin.

A few weeks ago I was musing about Hogwarts houses, and which one I'd be sorted into. Mentioned this to the husband, who responded with "Duh. Of course you'd be in Ravenclaw. Isn't it obvious?"

He is, of course, correct. When I thought about it, I realised that, if I was not sorted into Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin, I'd be sad, but also think "yeah, I suppose that's reasonable". If I failed to be sorted into Ravenclaw, on the other hand, I would be horrified that they didn't think I was intellectual enough.

I think, in fact, that's probably a good way of confirming someone's house. Someone who doesn't get into Hufflepuff, and says "But... you don't think I'm loyal and hardworking enough? I am SO loyal and hardworking! Let me show you how hard I can work at being loyal!" - or who doesn't get into Slytherin and is highly indignant about her resourcefulness being disparaged.



...and now, I will do what countless others have doubtless done before me, and sort the Buffy characters into Hogwarts houses. Because I couldn't get to sleep last night and this is what my brain does.

Gryffindor
- Buffy. Because duh.
- Spike. He's gutsy, and tends to put everything on the line just for the heck of it.

Ravenclaw
- Giles. (Bookish polyglot.)
- Dawn. (Ditto.)
- Angel. He knows his history, his languages, and his literature. And tends to research everything.

Slytherin
- Willow. I think she's more about knowledge so that she can do things and so that she can feel good about herself than because she actually wants to know for the sake of it. And she'd be upset about people thinking she wasn't prepared and resourceful.
- Anya. Pragmatic as all get-out. And I think she's the one character who would be most likely to shoot someone Indiana-Jones-style to cut the battle short.

Hufflepuff
- Faith. So ridiculously loyal - and the one way to make her absolutely destroy your life is to make her loyal to you and then (from her perspective) betray her.
- Everyone Willow has ever dated. (Seriously! Xander, Oz, Tara, Kennedy - all total Hufflepuffs...)

From a story perspective, the natural order is "minor character... supporting character... supporting character... MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!"

In-universe, the natural order is "did something kinda cool... did something more cool... did something even cooler... FOUGHT VOLDEMORT!!!!!"

Even mathematically, it'd be "10... 50... 50... 60!!!!!"

But no.

Instead, Dumbledore goes against every natural flow of narrative, and makes the choice to have Harry Potter get them to a tie against Slytherin - so that the realisation that Gryffindor has indeed won the House Cup comes simultaneously with Dumbledore beaming and saying, in his loudest, proudest voice:

"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM!!!!!"



...and that's why I love him.