I am not an unambitious con artist.

[deird1]

Facts:
- I have an ear infection, and had to go to the doctor today.
- My work is about an hour away from home, assuming I can catch a train.
- The doctor's office is half an hour in the opposite direction.

Maths:
- The doctor's opens at 8:30.
- I have to be home while I ring the doctor, in case I manage to get an early appointment.
- Having rung the doctor at 8:30, the earliest I can get to work is 9:30, assuming the trains are all working.
- Having made an appointment for 11:30, the latest I can leave work is 10:00, assuming the trains are all working.
- This gives me at most half an hour at work.

I declined this option and stayed home.

Further facts:
- The doctor was running late, so I didn't get in to see him until 12:30.
- I got home at 1.
- At that time of day, the earliest I could get to work is 2:30 - with a 15 minute walk through torrential rain.
- This means I've missed 7 hours of my work day.

It was not possible for me to get to those 7 hours of work; I had to be at a doctor's appointment. Because I was sick.

Wouldn't that make it fairly reasonable for me to get a medical certificate?



The receptionist at the doctor's office didn't seem to think so. I rang her - having forgotten to get a certificate during my appointment - and asked if I could get one. She proceeded to grill me on why I needed a certificate, if I was fit for work (yes, technically), if I'd been into work during the week (yep), why I thought I needed to go to the doctor in the first place...

HONESTLY, LADY. DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'M TRYING TO SCAM YOU OUT OF A CERTIFICATE SO I CAN SKIVE OFF WORK???

The way she was talking, I might as well have deliberately infected my ears with something horrible just so I'd have the luxurious benefit of sitting around a waiting room for an hour reading old magazines.

If I was going to do that, I'd see the gullible doctor rather than the good one, use the chronic back problems I already have, and groan my way into at least three days off work. Much more worthwhile.


*is annoyed*