fake letters

"Dear Teddy Bear Shop,
I'm thinking about buying one of your teddy bears.
Is their stuffing synthetic, or is it made from organic materials?
Sincerely, Mez"

"Dear Ms Mezzanine,
Thank you for expressing interest in our shop.
Our opening hours can be found on our website.
If you have further questions, please email us.
Looking forward to hearing from you, T.B.S."

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"Dear Gardening Gals,
I'd like to know more about your merchandise.
Could you please send me a catalogue?
Sincerely, Mez"

"Dear Ms Mezzanine,
We're glad to hear you're an avid gardener!
Join us for our family-friendly Open Day, coming soon!
See you there, G.G."

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"Dear Burger Emporium,
I'm thinking of holding my 31st birthday party at your fine establishment.
Is the Birthday Fun Room available on April 1st?
Sincerely, Mez"

"Dear Ms Mezzanine,
We offer a wide range of birthday party packages, featuring our deluxe burger range.
Vegetarian and gluten-free options will be made available on request.
Please think of us for your next event, B.E."

---

...I'm thinking of instituting a blanket policy.

If someone won't answer my very clear and simple question when replying to my email asking that question (and only that question), I will not be doing business with them.

*sighs*