This is why I read Making Light.
Nov. 29th, 2010 08:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird1(Yesterday I told my sister to read this article about Alots - and, a few minutes later, with my sister shrieking with laughter and frantically clicking on other links, her husband asked how I found these things in the first place.
I shrugged and said that I get linked to sites that link to other sites that have comments saying "Hey everyone! Go look at this other site!" which tends to lead to the reading of silly articles that my sister will shriek at.
So in fact, it is yet again all nquisitor's fault.)
...and because I was into LJ fandom, I found TV tropes, which led to Slacktivist, which led to Making Light, which led to THIS.
Speaker cables that cost $6,800. And the reviews include:
- "Little did I know, these cables CAME WITH A 2001 NISSAN 350Z WITH 110K MILES! I was wondering why they were so expensive. Now my 350Z and I drive around the world, racing in underground leagues to avenge the death of my family."
- "If you are building a 2000:1 working prototype of a badger brain in a storage unit in the desert, this is definitely what you want as a synaptic analogue."
- "I quickly learned that the power of my new AudioQuest K2 Wolf Awesometunic gave me dominion over all animals, great and small. I could freely commune with and command the trees themselves. I now have the power to "stop time" and right the wrongs of others. I can read Sanskrit. I can change the weather through a complex series of yoga positions. My enhanced sexual prowess was matched only by my godlike intellect. Using my newfound powers, I was able to breed an army of laser cannon equipped, 10 foot tall super-turtles to enforce my will."
- "I understand it's hand delivered by the Dali Lama riding a gelded ivory stallion while being serenaded by celestial cherubs."
- "Now flee from me, puny humans! Thanks to the AudioQuest K2 Terminated speaker cables, I have become the DEVOURER OF WORLDS! Bwaaa HaaH Haaah! Haah!"
- "Even when I buffered the lightning down to a few thousand volts, these cables burned out before revivification could take place."
- "In a great wave of luck however, the cables actually built me a NEW house shortly after I lost mine to foreclosure."
- "Yes, the AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable - UST plugs 8' (2.44m) pair has the power to turn your enemies into zombies, completely loyal to whoever wields it."
- "We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives. Do not use the cables!"
- "Thank you AudioQuest! For providing me with the last item I needed to take over the world, I will grant you stewardship of Belgium."
- "I went ahead and ordered 2 just in case one of them gets tarnished in the factory - I mean better safe than sorry right?"
The internet is fun.
I shrugged and said that I get linked to sites that link to other sites that have comments saying "Hey everyone! Go look at this other site!" which tends to lead to the reading of silly articles that my sister will shriek at.
So in fact, it is yet again all nquisitor's fault.)
...and because I was into LJ fandom, I found TV tropes, which led to Slacktivist, which led to Making Light, which led to THIS.
Speaker cables that cost $6,800. And the reviews include:
- "Little did I know, these cables CAME WITH A 2001 NISSAN 350Z WITH 110K MILES! I was wondering why they were so expensive. Now my 350Z and I drive around the world, racing in underground leagues to avenge the death of my family."
- "If you are building a 2000:1 working prototype of a badger brain in a storage unit in the desert, this is definitely what you want as a synaptic analogue."
- "I quickly learned that the power of my new AudioQuest K2 Wolf Awesometunic gave me dominion over all animals, great and small. I could freely commune with and command the trees themselves. I now have the power to "stop time" and right the wrongs of others. I can read Sanskrit. I can change the weather through a complex series of yoga positions. My enhanced sexual prowess was matched only by my godlike intellect. Using my newfound powers, I was able to breed an army of laser cannon equipped, 10 foot tall super-turtles to enforce my will."
- "I understand it's hand delivered by the Dali Lama riding a gelded ivory stallion while being serenaded by celestial cherubs."
- "Now flee from me, puny humans! Thanks to the AudioQuest K2 Terminated speaker cables, I have become the DEVOURER OF WORLDS! Bwaaa HaaH Haaah! Haah!"
- "Even when I buffered the lightning down to a few thousand volts, these cables burned out before revivification could take place."
- "In a great wave of luck however, the cables actually built me a NEW house shortly after I lost mine to foreclosure."
- "Yes, the AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable - UST plugs 8' (2.44m) pair has the power to turn your enemies into zombies, completely loyal to whoever wields it."
- "We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives. Do not use the cables!"
- "Thank you AudioQuest! For providing me with the last item I needed to take over the world, I will grant you stewardship of Belgium."
- "I went ahead and ordered 2 just in case one of them gets tarnished in the factory - I mean better safe than sorry right?"
The internet is fun.
no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 10:08 pm (UTC)Wouldn't you be better off spending the money on heroin, meth, and skanky prostitutes? You'd actually seem like less of an idiot.
A lot less.
Gabrielle
no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 10:15 pm (UTC)Personally, I'd buy a giant tub of M&Ms, and swim around in them.
no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 10:21 pm (UTC)Gabrielle