I just need to find the perfect school. It's not that hard.

[deird1]

I tried to discuss this with my best friend, but a performing arts background is not among her many virtues, so she doesn't really get it.

Hence, venting to those of you who care:

I am currently checking out secondary schools in my local area, because my son will need to go to one in 2027. We're looking at state and private schools (assuming those private schools are at least vaguely affordable), and going to as many school tours as we can.

This morning, I went to one that would be perfect at handling my autistic, socially-awkward, kind-of-a-flailing-mess kid. They have great support, great strategies in place for neurodivergent students, and a really nice school culture.

Their academic program is nothing to write home about, but is fine.

…and their performing arts program is nonexistent. No bands, no concerts, no drama classes. They can learn music as an elective subject, but that's it.

Guys. I don't think I can send my kidlets to a school that doesn't do lots of performing arts. I just… no. NO.

I want them to be able to play music with their friends, and do the school musical, and join a band. And apparently this is important enough to me that every other positive aspect of the school fades into the background.

I swear I'm not trying to be ridiculously shallow. But being a musical person was such a huge part of my life – and still is – and is pretty important to my kids, too. They're both musicians, and both trying to get better at their instruments, and the idea of sending them to a school that doesn't value that part of them just… hurts my soul.

Comments

[conuly]

Do you think they might be good enough to be inclined to beef up their music, at least, in response to a parent advocate or two?

[elisi]

My immediate thought is: Are there any music centres nearby? As someone whose youngest has just started at conservatoire last September (the violin is her main instrument, but she will play anything she can get her hands on) she didn't study music in school at all (because the music provision was terrible), although she would join in bands when they performed etc.

However she went to the local music centre since she was young, was in several groups/bands there and that was how she grew her skills, found a tutor etc etc.

Do you have anything similar?

You can then work on the school, maybe get on the school board and make changes.

[hnpcc]

Both my niece are nephew are at a state school with a strong emphasis on performing arts. Also a smaller school, as my niece in particular would be lost in the crowd otherwise. I think the focus on music and arts and performance is worth keeping looking for.

[tielan]

I would keep it in mind, but bump it down the list. Unless it's the only one in the area that could suitably handle said kid, in which case...you've got a tough choice to make.

I admit I'm kind of surprised (and this might be a sign of just how privileged an area I live in) because even in the state schools of my area there are bands and chamber groups and choirs and yearly musicals. And the selective schools also have musical and art programs of some kind, even if they're not as important as the academic stuff.

[lirazel]

Hey, if it's important to your kids like it's important to you, then it makes sense that you're prioritizing this!

I hope you find the perfect fit!

[shadowkat]

I agree with you on this one. Being able to take theater, art, and perform in plays, also speech contests during high school - saved my sanity. Prior to that I did it outside of high school. I may not do it now - but it did help, and because of it? I overcame a speech impediment, which doesn't exist now.

It's not shallow at all. Music, performing arts, band, choir, plays, art - are needed. They are as important as an athletics program. Can you keep looking? I don't know what schools are like in Australia. (I think you are in Australia.)