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Apr. 14th, 2013 07:19 amI'm managing to confuse the world with name-change stuff.
(For the purposes of this post, my last name will be Smith, and the fiance's last name will be Jones.)
Most people seem to think that there are two options. Either I can be stuffy and traditional and change my name to "Mrs Jones", or I can be radical and feminist and keep my name as "Ms Smith".
Occasionally, someone allows for a third option, where I am hip and modern and take the name "Mrs Smith-Jones".
I am... doing none of those. Which seems to be confusing everyone.
My plan is to change my last name from Smith to Jones. And to change my title – from Miss to Ms.
The pro-"Ms Smith" people are worried that I'm subsuming my identity into the fiance's. The pro-"Mrs Jones" people are baffled that I don't want to be a Mrs. A smaller selection of both groups are still stuck back on my current title – weirded out by the fact that I'm a thirty-year-old professional and still going by Miss instead of Ms*.
* Except on those forms which don't give me an option, but simply expect me to tick "Mr", "Mrs", or "Ms", even though my title is none of the above.
All in all, I'm apparently confusing.
I've seen a lot of internet discussions about name change recently, and in almost every discussion at least one person will say "Well, I decided not to change my last name, because I don't want to be a Mrs." No-one ever seems to point out that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
So, why am I doing it the way I am? No grand philosophical reasons; it's just that I thought through all the possible permutations, and "Ms Jones" was the one that sounded most like me.
(For the purposes of this post, my last name will be Smith, and the fiance's last name will be Jones.)
Most people seem to think that there are two options. Either I can be stuffy and traditional and change my name to "Mrs Jones", or I can be radical and feminist and keep my name as "Ms Smith".
Occasionally, someone allows for a third option, where I am hip and modern and take the name "Mrs Smith-Jones".
I am... doing none of those. Which seems to be confusing everyone.
My plan is to change my last name from Smith to Jones. And to change my title – from Miss to Ms.
The pro-"Ms Smith" people are worried that I'm subsuming my identity into the fiance's. The pro-"Mrs Jones" people are baffled that I don't want to be a Mrs. A smaller selection of both groups are still stuck back on my current title – weirded out by the fact that I'm a thirty-year-old professional and still going by Miss instead of Ms*.
* Except on those forms which don't give me an option, but simply expect me to tick "Mr", "Mrs", or "Ms", even though my title is none of the above.
All in all, I'm apparently confusing.
I've seen a lot of internet discussions about name change recently, and in almost every discussion at least one person will say "Well, I decided not to change my last name, because I don't want to be a Mrs." No-one ever seems to point out that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
So, why am I doing it the way I am? No grand philosophical reasons; it's just that I thought through all the possible permutations, and "Ms Jones" was the one that sounded most like me.