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the trials of Elf
Nov. 20th, 2011 12:05 pmMy cat is sulking.
So far, his week has gone like this:
Monday – Outside! Oh glorious outside! Get into cat fight with arch-nemesis, and win! WHO'S THE BADDEST CAT ON THE BLOCK. OH YEAH.
Tuesday – Lick wounds, and then prance around outside feeling like a badass.
Wednesday – Ditto.
Thursday – Spend the whole day licking wounds, and waiting for Mummy to get home so I can go outside. Am just getting to FINALLY go outside, and Mummy grabs me, pokes at wounds (OWW), shrieks, and drags me off to a smelly place filled with dogs, where I am poked, prodded, and injected with something.
Don't get to go outside - at all.
Friday/Saturday/Sunday – For some infuriating reason, Mummy keeps sticking gross paste in my mouth right before mealtimes. YUCK. It makes the food taste disgusting.
Even more infuriating, she refuses point-blank to let me outside! Arch-nemesis is probably reasserting his erroneous claims over MY territory, and there's nothing I can do about it!
LET ME OUTSIDE, MUMMY.
He's not at all happy with me...
So far, his week has gone like this:
Monday – Outside! Oh glorious outside! Get into cat fight with arch-nemesis, and win! WHO'S THE BADDEST CAT ON THE BLOCK. OH YEAH.
Tuesday – Lick wounds, and then prance around outside feeling like a badass.
Wednesday – Ditto.
Thursday – Spend the whole day licking wounds, and waiting for Mummy to get home so I can go outside. Am just getting to FINALLY go outside, and Mummy grabs me, pokes at wounds (OWW), shrieks, and drags me off to a smelly place filled with dogs, where I am poked, prodded, and injected with something.
Don't get to go outside - at all.
Friday/Saturday/Sunday – For some infuriating reason, Mummy keeps sticking gross paste in my mouth right before mealtimes. YUCK. It makes the food taste disgusting.
Even more infuriating, she refuses point-blank to let me outside! Arch-nemesis is probably reasserting his erroneous claims over MY territory, and there's nothing I can do about it!
LET ME OUTSIDE, MUMMY.
He's not at all happy with me...