clothing formulae

[deird1]

I am currently waiting for Nathan to wake up from a very long nap, and slightly bored. So I thought I'd take a moment to tell you all my theory of women's clothing. (And possibly men's clothing, but I'm less sure about that.)

Briefly, most clothing will emphasise three different parts of the body:
- the bust or shoulders
- the waist or hips
- the bottom or legs
It's very rare to find clothing that, for instance, emphasises both the waist and the hips. You have to pick which one you want to go with.

So, you figure out which of each pair you should emphasise, and then always pick clothes accordingly. For me, it's:
- shoulders; generally v-necks, halter tops, or other things which create diagonal lines
- waist; stuff which comes in very sharply at my waistline
- bottom; flared jeans, bustle skirts, or fishtails

And that's how it works.



Questions? Comments?

Comments

[velvetwhip]

I'm a Lagenlook girl so I don't emphasize anything.


Gabrielle

[deird1]

Have never heard of this before. *googles* Cool...

[velvetwhip]

I love Lagenlook - eccentric and comfy at the same time. Can't get better than that!


Gabrielle

[jl_in_the_lane.livejournal.com]

I'm intrigued that my emphasise-waist criterion is somehow different from yours. There's very distinct point at which mine needs to be emphasised.

Isn't the Hollywood rule something like, "Skin, sheer or shape - one = sexy, two = slutty, three = centrefold"?

... maybe I'm making that one up.

[frayadjacent]

Interesting. I think I generally go for shoulders>bust, hips>waist, and bottom>legs. But wouldn't a lot of styles, like a mermaid cut dress, do both waist and hips?

[deird1]

Generally speaking, they'll cling to both, but only emphasise one. (A skin-tight body suit, for instance, won't emphasise every feature you have even though it's displaying them all.) The main difference seems to be that mermaid cut dresses emphasise the hips - whereas skirts with a similar line will emphasise the waist...

[frayadjacent]

Ah, I see. Makes sense!

[nimthiriel]

I also emphasise shoulders (V-necks), but can't wear halter tops because there is yet to be a halterneck bra that doesn't feel like it's trying to decapitate me. I don't know whether I emphasise waist or hips (wouldn't mind hearing your opinion on this one for me, because I'm yet to figure it out) but some things that come in sharply at the waist make my chest look HUGE, but things that don't come in enough make me look like I'm wearing a potato sack or have a massive upper half.

On the other hand, A-line skirts look amazing on me.

I don't think I emphasise my bottom (definitely can't wear fishtail skirts), but I do prefer flared jeans. Anything that isn't bootcut at a minimum makes my thighs look disproportionately large, and don't even mention pencil skirts. They just make me look weird.

I would actually really like your opinion on what my figure ought to be doing, because I'm an hourglass but I find that a lot of the advice I see for hourglass shapes really doesn't work for me.