The Mezzanine

Pretty much a big yes to everything here. I know that everyone has a favorite character, who may or may not be their "alter-ego/avatar", the person they identify most with, or simply someone they find fascinating, and I'm guilty of it too (with Buffy).

The entire "he's the bestest, nicest, sweetest, kindest guy ever ever ever and Buffy is a bitch not to see that" really bugs me, although I usually try to just walk away whenever I see that theme in fanfic or meta/forum convos. I really dislike the amount of whitewashing that goes on - for any character - but I also dislike the amount of "bashing", regardless of character. I'm trying to be more objective in my thinking regarding Xander and Riley especially. (Easier in Xander's case, harder in Riley's.)

One thing that really surprised me is that I've seen so many meta and fan discussions on the internet that excuse The Lie, or claim that Xander in the early seasons (1 & 2) was not at least partly motivated by jealousy. Especially when it comes to Angel, the reason often given (besides he's a wonderful friend), is that he hates vampires because of what happened to Jesse. That really didn't enter my thinking when watching the show this year (and admittedly I crammed it into three weeks time) because the show itself never makes a point of it beyond WTTH/The Harvest. JW admitted he had the actor in the opening credits to throw the audience, and Jesse is never mentioned beyond those episodes. I forgot Jesse because the show itself does, beyond one brief mention very late in the series (S7?)

Of course it was a very different show by S3 than S1, when Xander is the one who mentions Jenny Calender on more than one occasion; so yes, by this point his motivations for hating Angel were far more complex than mere jealousy.

I really don't have any interest in Buffy and Xander as a pairing (again, except as ironically - example, there's a story I read, a post-Chosen AU, in which only Xander and Buffy survive but she's in a wheelchair and they get married so she can take his name and be protected by that. It's a marriage in name only however. There only interaction the two of them have is her observing him asleep at his desk. She clearly feels the sort of friendly affection for him she did on the show, and it's never indicated that he feels anything else in return although his POV is never explored. the story is really about Buffy dealing with despair.)

In any case, bashing and whitewash (two sides of the same coin) sort of miss the point for me. We wouldn't be talking about these characters ten years on if they weren't complex and difficult and fully-fleshed people. (Ironically that tendency towards extremes of whitewashing/bashing is something we see in Xander on the show a lot - slut-shaming and hero worship (of Buffy) are two sides of the same coin. But he's also kind, concerned about his friends, generous and loving. I can't dismiss those qualities in him nor do I want to.)

As I don't tend to read Xander-centric fics, although I can enjoy him as part of an ensemble in a story (which is what he was on the show - part of the supporting ensemble. Remember?) I wonder if the same sort of whitewashing goes on with Spander fics, or if, because it's two guys in the pairing, there's more complexity, or does one guy become the stand in for the stone bitch/emo girl.

I alos sometimes wonder if -dare I mention them? - the comics (*gets out knives*) are a commentary on fanfic tendencies, because I'm beginning to realize that a lot of what I see in fanfic is also in the comics, if somewhat exagerrated. (The spacefrak being a prime example of that.) So, all of Xander's positive traits are there, without the negatives; or at least from what I've seen he's the most likeable and accessible character, at least in S8. But then the other possibility is that the comics are fanfic and Xander really is the writers' avatar and they take the "Buffy doesn't see what a great guy he is until it's too late" theme seriously. (Perhaps taking revenge on all the girls who turned them down in HS?)

I notice that in RL, the guys who inform me that they are "nice guys" are usually anything but; genuinely nice people don't have to inform the world that they are nice because it's so innate in their own characters - and niceness is genuinely accompanied by humility or modesty - that they don't have to think about it or feel the need to advertise it.