yes, I see this on a daily basis
Sep. 15th, 2012 07:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deird1One day, when cats get their own credit cards, I'm going to market a back door for the up-market feline, and I'll make a fortune.
Unlike those stodgy old human doors, that open when you touch them, my door will have several stages:
Stage 1: Weather Report
On first approach, the door will open its main forcefield. The door will still be mostly closed - but it will let in a taste of the breeze, temperature, and exciting smells, allowing the discerning cat to decide if he truly wants to proceed to Stage 2.
Stage 2: Primary Excursion
If the weather seems satisfactory, the door's secondary forcefield will open for exactly 20 seconds - allowing the cat to walk outside, sniff, turn in a full circle, and then come back inside for a brief period of relaxed contemplation before proceeding to Stage 3.
Stage 3: A Considered Exit
After the cat has fully thought through his strategy, both forcefields will open. Before closing... very very slowly. The cat must be able to keep his tail in the doorway for a full two minutes after he first set paw to ground.
Other stages that may or may not come into play (but probably will) include Stage 4: Checking That Inside Still Exists in which the cat can come back in, circle the house, and then wander back outside again, and Stage 5: Battle Tactics, in which the door will get used as the border between the kingdoms of two cats, in the ultimate deathmatch for dominance of the door area.
In other news, I have opened my back door a total of 12 times this morning. And I've only just finished breakfast (my cats still haven't).
Must go. Elf is requesting an ingress.
Unlike those stodgy old human doors, that open when you touch them, my door will have several stages:
Stage 1: Weather Report
On first approach, the door will open its main forcefield. The door will still be mostly closed - but it will let in a taste of the breeze, temperature, and exciting smells, allowing the discerning cat to decide if he truly wants to proceed to Stage 2.
Stage 2: Primary Excursion
If the weather seems satisfactory, the door's secondary forcefield will open for exactly 20 seconds - allowing the cat to walk outside, sniff, turn in a full circle, and then come back inside for a brief period of relaxed contemplation before proceeding to Stage 3.
Stage 3: A Considered Exit
After the cat has fully thought through his strategy, both forcefields will open. Before closing... very very slowly. The cat must be able to keep his tail in the doorway for a full two minutes after he first set paw to ground.
Other stages that may or may not come into play (but probably will) include Stage 4: Checking That Inside Still Exists in which the cat can come back in, circle the house, and then wander back outside again, and Stage 5: Battle Tactics, in which the door will get used as the border between the kingdoms of two cats, in the ultimate deathmatch for dominance of the door area.
In other news, I have opened my back door a total of 12 times this morning. And I've only just finished breakfast (my cats still haven't).
Must go. Elf is requesting an ingress.