The Mezzanine

Oh wow. I have never heard of an invitation to a BBQ worded that way. That would be considered extremely rude where I live.

I'll tell you how we do it:

We decide to have a BBQ, we set the date and invite people. We know by doing this the expense of our party is on us; we purchase the meat, the wood, the groceries for the side dishes and whatever desserts we decide on, the paper plates, napkins and cups. We buy sodas and at least two different types of beer. That is standard operating procedure.

Now, very often, people will call up and ask if there's anything they can bring. If they do, it's perfectly okay then to request something. So you tell them they can bring sodas or beer or maybe some of that wonderful banana pudding they make.

At this point in time (we've been married 30 years), we know pretty much who's going to call and ask right away and who's going to wait until the last minute to ask. We know who's going to show up on their own with chips or cakes or drinks or paper plates or that bottle of Jack or tequila. (We know who's going to get up early and drive over to actually help us cook and who's going to be helping us keep things washed up in the kitchen.)

But we don't count on anyone bringing anything when we invite people. We provide the majority of the stuff ourselves.