deird1: Aeryn holding a baby and shooting a gun, with text "working mother" (Aeryn working mother)
deird1 ([personal profile] deird1) wrote2011-05-04 09:07 am
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catch 22

Dear Publisher,

You're right. I don't have enough experience for you to employ me. Silly of me to pre-empt things and apply for the position before I had experience!

But never fear! This very week, I will embark on an epic quest to gain experience. Here's how I'll do it:
- First, I will climb the magic mountain, defeating orcs and goblins along the way. (This will gain me 5 XP per kill.)
- Then, using mystic mushrooms to replenish my HP, I'll leap from ledge to ledge over the Chasm Of Despair, to locate the hidden treasures of the Last Dragon. (Feel free to picture this with a Mario Bros soundtrack if you wish; I certainly shall be, if only because it will give me hope that plummeting to my certain death will be followed by a quick game reload.)
- Having presented the Last Dragon's treasure chest to the Princess, I will be deemed worthy of my final mission. So, using the Glowing Sword of Elboreth, and the Potion of Mystic Night, I will scale the walls of the Black City, steal past the first 50 guards, slay the next 50, fight my way past the Dark Wizard's hordes, then confront the Wizard himself, and finally rescue the Princess's little sister and return her to the Castle safely. (This will gain me a total of 415093 XP.)
- Once I have earned enough XP, I will return to you, dear Publisher, present you with a recounting of my brave exploits, and finally earn myself a place among your ranks. It will be a glorious day!


...or you could take a chance on giving me some experience yourself. Whatever.
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eilowyn1: (Default)

[personal profile] eilowyn1 2011-05-03 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Rough day?

This happened to all my friends who graduated from nursing school. They needed experience to get hired, but they needed to get hired to gain some experience.
deird1: Buffy and the rocket launcher, with text "best present ever" (Buffy rocket launcher)

[personal profile] deird1 2011-05-03 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
UH-HUH.

I can't get a job because I don't have experience. I can't get freelance work because I don't have experience. I can't get volunteer work as an editor, because I don't have experience.

*headdesks forever*
velvetwhip: (Real Genius: Jordan)

[personal profile] velvetwhip 2011-05-03 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It's like acting in a studio film. You need to be a SAG member to be hired for a speaking role, but you have to have been cast in a speaking role in order to qualify for SAG membership.


Gabrielle
deird1: Dawn glaring at Buffy, with text "Dawn Summers demands an explanation for this bullshit" (Dawn bullshit)

[personal profile] deird1 2011-05-03 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
RIDICULOUS WORLD.
velvetwhip: (Archy the Cockroach)

[personal profile] velvetwhip 2011-05-03 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes it is.

Want to know something very tragic? The majority of employers here in the USA will ONLY interview people who currently have jobs for their open positions, which means that those who've been laid off or whose jobs have simply disappeared might well remain unemployed forever.


Gabrielle
alexseanchai: Katsuki Yuuri wearing a blue jacket and his glasses and holding a poodle, in front of the asexual pride flag with a rainbow heart inset. (Default)

[personal profile] alexseanchai 2011-05-03 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Gotta love this world. 'Cause the alternatives to loving this world are even less pleasant.
deird1: Faith, with text " 'sup, bitches?" (Faith bitches)

[personal profile] deird1 2011-05-03 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*kicks things*
next_to_normal: (buffy eyeroll)

[personal profile] next_to_normal 2011-05-03 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, this sounds unpleasantly familiar. What I have discovered is, basically, employers use this Catch-22 to force you into an internship, where they don't have to pay you, in order to acquire the necessary experience. Then, once they've exploited your free labor for a year or so (because clearly you do not have any bills or student loans to pay off that might require an actual paycheck), they'll consider you for an entry-level position. :-P
deird1: a chibi of Lady Catherine from P&P, with text "I am most seriously displeased" (Lady Catherine displeased)

[personal profile] deird1 2011-05-03 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Ironically? I wouldn't even MIND doing the free labour to get the experience. But NO-ONE WILL LET ME.
next_to_normal: (punctuation)

[personal profile] next_to_normal 2011-05-04 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Well, of course! Obviously, editing is a very dangerous job that should ONLY be done by a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL.

DO NOT ATTEMPT AT HOME.
greenlikethecolour: typing (Default)

[personal profile] greenlikethecolour 2011-05-03 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
This is what I hate about applying for jobs. Everyone wants people with "experience" but how do they expect people to get that experience?!?

"I know I don't have experience, that's why I want this job."
deird1: dark!Willow, with text "This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming." (Willow dark)

[personal profile] deird1 2011-05-03 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
It's SO FRUSTRATING.
nimthiriel: (Default)

[personal profile] nimthiriel 2011-05-04 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Uuuuuuugh I remember that cycle. EVIL EVIL EVIL. STOMP.

[personal profile] urania_calliope 2011-05-04 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
I think I love you. Let us get married and get you some life experience.
spuffyduds: wash of color background, with text "spuffy" (Default)

[personal profile] spuffyduds 2011-05-04 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
This was so awesome I had to read it aloud to Thing Two.

[identity profile] klme.livejournal.com 2011-05-04 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
Can you go work on a community newspaper? Our local shops put out a "gully news" thing - all volunteers. Very low key and very local, but something for the CV at least? Search for something similar? School newsletters? The local kinder will have a committee - they always want a volunteer to produce the newsletter. You could volunteer to be involved - they might snap you up. Again, something little for the CV?
deird1: Katara with tears running down her face (Katara tears)

[personal profile] deird1 2011-05-04 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
"Hi, Local Newspaper! Can I volunteer with you guys?"
"Rack off, we can't provide life insurance for you to enter our building."

(Seriously.)

"Hi, Local Church Newspaper! Can I volunteer with you guys to get experience?"
"Hmm... well, first you'd need some experience."


I've just about given up.
ext_515989: (Default)

[identity profile] glorious-pancake-morning.blogspot.com 2011-05-04 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
Duh
Duh-duh-duh
Duh-duh-duh
Duh duh DUHHHH

It's the
Eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival...
curiouswombat: (Default)

[personal profile] curiouswombat 2011-05-04 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'd be very inclined to actually send them this...

i wonder if this will let me post...

[identity profile] jl_in_the_lane.livejournal.com 2011-05-05 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
I feel it necessary to post this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af1OxkFOK18

(...if I could remember how to embed that properly, I would have done so...)
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