How do you refer to people?

[deird1]

Just a poll, because I'm wondering if being in a different country makes a big difference to this...

(Ignore the "dear" if that's not what you'd say - I just put it there because it's the start of a letter.)

Poll #5814 forms of address

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 29

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At work, you're writing a letter to John Smith, whom you've never met. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
22 (78.6%)

Dear John Smith
2 (7.1%)

Dear John
1 (3.6%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
3 (10.7%)

At work, you're writing a letter to John Smith, whom you've met several times. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
13 (44.8%)

Dear John Smith
2 (6.9%)

Dear John
13 (44.8%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
1 (3.4%)

At work, you're writing an email to John Smith, whom you've never met. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
18 (62.1%)

Dear John Smith
1 (3.4%)

Dear John
7 (24.1%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
3 (10.3%)

At work, you're writing an email to John Smith, whom you've met several times. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
4 (14.3%)

Dear John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear John
23 (82.1%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
1 (3.6%)

It makes a difference if you're...

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not at work
20 (69.0%)

writing to Jane Smith instead of John
4 (13.8%)

an inferior, a superior, or an equal
18 (62.1%)

trying to be polite
14 (48.3%)

talking to them face-to-face
18 (62.1%)

Questions? Comments?

Comments

[shipperx]

Business letters are business letters so they tend to remain formal. E-mail on the other hand, it varies. It's according to whether it's to a client or simply one of the engineers I'm working with. If it's to a client it remains formal. If it's to an engineer I'm working with on the project it tends to go informal quickly.

[deird1]

I guess that's part of what I'm wondering - I really wouldn't consider "Dear John" to be noticeably less formal than "Dear Mr Smith". Is that just an Aussie thing?

[shipperx]

Dunno.

In e-mail I only have any header about half the time.

[rahirah]

I tend to be a stickler for putting a salutation on emails, but I would say that well over 50% of my co-workers just plunge right in.

[beer_good_foamy]

I mostly just continue to be boggled by how formal most languages are. I start almost all my work e-mails (I haven't written a letter in years) with "Hi First Name," regardless of how well I know them. I once had to spend several days convincing my German boss that "Hi" is acceptable and that most Swedes would either laugh their asses off, be offended, or assume that it was poorly translated spam if they were addressed as "Highly Esteemed Mr Doctor Last Name."

[deird1]

*nods*

If I started a business email with "Dear Mr Smith", I'd probably get people assuming I was snobby, aloof, and unfriendly. Mostly I'd start with "John -"

[quinara]

I'd probably get people assuming I was snobby, aloof, and unfriendly. Mostly I'd start with "John -"

See, to me, a name without anything preceding it comes across as abrupt and slightly rude!

[deird1]

How strange and different!

Someday I'm going to work for an international conglomerate, and offend every single international person I have to email...

[swellen.livejournal.com]

Almost without fail, when I get an email that starts with just my first name and no salutation, it's from someone who is annoyed and wants to complain about something. So my back goes up immediately when I see that!

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

Every email I ever receive from Swedes begins with "Hi Stephen" apart from the ones that start "Hello Stephen", so you're not alone. :)

I don't think I've ever been emailed by a German, though...

[shipperx]

There is one engineer that I work with who is German but who has lived in the U.S. Deep South for well over a decade, and speaking on the phone with him is always an experience because he now has some strange combination of German and U.S. Southern accent. :)

[quinara]

I haven't written a letter to anyone in years, so I don't know how to answer those questions. Otherwise, these days, any email I send around the university is 'Dear [first name]', whether it's to a fellow, a member of admin staff or another student I don't know; it's very rare for anyone to want it another way. But I also send very few unsolicited emails, so I'm mostly following how everyone signs their name when they write to me.

[quinara]

(I often also drop the 'dear' to a 'hi', but that's more for people I feel I know vaguely well. More often academics than admin people.)

[gillo]

I wrote a detailed reply and DW swallowed it. Grr.

In letters I'd tend to stay formal, email perhaps less so. In both cases I tend to be guided by how my correspondent addresses me - if s/he replied "Dear Gill" I would be likely to respond with "Dear John" unless it was an unpleasant conversation. I do not give my gas supplier permission to use my first name if I've written with a complaint!

As my full given name is Gillian, which nobody but my mother uses, my hackles immediately rise at "Dear Gillian", which mixes impertinence with evidence that the writer does not know me.

If in doubt I err on the formal side in letters, somewhat less formal in e-mail. However, most of my work letters are to parents anyway, and they tend automatically to be more formal.

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

I think the only people I'd address as "Dear Mr Smith" would be customers/members of the public, or perhaps very, very senior people in a large company. Colleagues, clients, contractors and so forth would be "Dear Jane", even if I'd never met them before. But then, first name terms are pretty much universal in every organisation I've ever worked for here.


These days, it seems pretty much universal to start business emails with "Hi John", although "John -" would be an option too, especially for short messages. Some people don't bother with a salutation at all, but that seems kind of abrupt to me.

[rahirah]

It also depends what the letter or email is about - if it's just asking a question, it's more likely to be informal than if it's documenting something official. Also whether it's going to someone inside or outside the company, and if outside, what relationship do they have with the company.

[zeborah]

When emailing someone I don't know I usually start "Good morning|afternoon", precisely to avoid this dilemma. Then follow their lead when they reply.

[jesuswasbatman]

I used to use "Dear Mr/Ms" on work emails to external people until the organisation's policy was officially changed to use "Hello John".

[deird1]

Really? I can't imagine having an official work policy.

[jesuswasbatman]

Yes, it was thought that we needed to drop our reputation for being excessively formal.

[spikereader]

I very rarely write letters at work these days, but would stick to the Dear Mr Smith format to someone out side the company. Internal letters would be Dear John.

With email I generally just start with 'hi' rather than Dear John, or no salutation at all. The tone of the email would vary depending on whether I know the person or not and whether they are internal or external to the company. And always stop and think before pressing the send button.

[(Anonymous)]

Few people use "Dear ..." to start emails in my company. Even to clients, we write "Hello John," or "Hi John." I struggled with that for awhile, because it did seem too informal to me, but finally caved. Clients who write to me for the first time start their emails "Hi TimeofChange." Once they are familiar with me, they often simly start an email with my name sans greeting(TimeofChange, ...) or dispense with the greeting altogether, and simply jump into the body of the email. That also is the case with the company's leadership when they write to me. I always use a greeting when writing to everyone, although I am beginning to think that it brands me as lower status than I really am, at least within our firm. Good grief, this is complicated.

In case you are wondering, this is true for young and not-so-young colleagues and clients.

Nobody at my company writes paper letters as far as I can tell.

Regards,
Time of Change

[next_to_normal]

I almost never write letters, lol, so if I do, it's probably a formal request, so I'd use "Dear Mr. Smith." (Unless it's someone I've met and call by their first name in person, then I'd say "Dear John," but I can't imagine a reason to write a formal letter to someone I know on a first-name basis.)

With email, I'll generally use the first name, whether I know them or not. The only exception is if it's an elected official or otherwise important person, I'll usually start with "Mr. Smith" and then switch to "John" if it's appropriate and I feel comfortable.

I also tend to address my professors as "Dr. Smith" or "Professor Smith" in email unless they've said to call them by their first name.

ETA: And as others said above, I almost always use "Hi" instead of "Dear" in emails.