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Entry tags:
angsty musings
I feel like Rilla at the start of the novel.
You may or may not be aware that the Anne of Green Gables was just the start of an entire series of novels. The last (according to in-universe chronology) was Rilla of Ingleside, and starred Anne's youngest daughter, Rilla.
It's also set during World War One. The Arch-duke gets shot in the first chapter, and the soldiers come home during the last chapter. The novel, as a whole, is about Rilla's transition from a carefree 15 year old to a wiser 19 year old.
Which is to say, that at the start of the novel Rilla has basically no problems - but thinks she has a tonne.
I keep being upset about the terrible things that are happening to my life right now. Terrible, unfair things like my children not getting to have fun at school, and not being able to buy flour to supplement my cake-baking needs, and not being able to go on the holiday trip we'd planned, and being stuck in our very large house and its enormous back garden, and having to do roleplaying online instead of in-person...
You know. Lots of very important stuff like that.
And I know - I really do know - that this is the most privileged position that one could possibly be in during a pandemic, where my current greatest complaint is potential (not even current) boredom. But it's still upsetting me. And I still want to freak out and be upset, because my life is suddenly all different from how it was supposed to be, and it's stressful and worrying. But I'm also aware of just how stunningly selfish it would be for me to act, right now, as though these things are actual problems, on the level with other people's.
And I'm sure that, just like Rilla, I'll come out of this whole thing older, and wiser, and with a more realistic sense of what matters and what's important. I just... wish I could stay at the start of the novel, where nothing had really changed yet.
You may or may not be aware that the Anne of Green Gables was just the start of an entire series of novels. The last (according to in-universe chronology) was Rilla of Ingleside, and starred Anne's youngest daughter, Rilla.
It's also set during World War One. The Arch-duke gets shot in the first chapter, and the soldiers come home during the last chapter. The novel, as a whole, is about Rilla's transition from a carefree 15 year old to a wiser 19 year old.
Which is to say, that at the start of the novel Rilla has basically no problems - but thinks she has a tonne.
I keep being upset about the terrible things that are happening to my life right now. Terrible, unfair things like my children not getting to have fun at school, and not being able to buy flour to supplement my cake-baking needs, and not being able to go on the holiday trip we'd planned, and being stuck in our very large house and its enormous back garden, and having to do roleplaying online instead of in-person...
You know. Lots of very important stuff like that.
And I know - I really do know - that this is the most privileged position that one could possibly be in during a pandemic, where my current greatest complaint is potential (not even current) boredom. But it's still upsetting me. And I still want to freak out and be upset, because my life is suddenly all different from how it was supposed to be, and it's stressful and worrying. But I'm also aware of just how stunningly selfish it would be for me to act, right now, as though these things are actual problems, on the level with other people's.
And I'm sure that, just like Rilla, I'll come out of this whole thing older, and wiser, and with a more realistic sense of what matters and what's important. I just... wish I could stay at the start of the novel, where nothing had really changed yet.