How do you refer to people?

[deird1]

Just a poll, because I'm wondering if being in a different country makes a big difference to this...

(Ignore the "dear" if that's not what you'd say - I just put it there because it's the start of a letter.)

Poll #5814 forms of address

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 29

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At work, you're writing a letter to John Smith, whom you've never met. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
22 (78.6%)

Dear John Smith
2 (7.1%)

Dear John
1 (3.6%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
3 (10.7%)

At work, you're writing a letter to John Smith, whom you've met several times. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
13 (44.8%)

Dear John Smith
2 (6.9%)

Dear John
13 (44.8%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
1 (3.4%)

At work, you're writing an email to John Smith, whom you've never met. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
18 (62.1%)

Dear John Smith
1 (3.4%)

Dear John
7 (24.1%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
3 (10.3%)

At work, you're writing an email to John Smith, whom you've met several times. You start...

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Dear Mr Smith
4 (14.3%)

Dear John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear John
23 (82.1%)

Dear Mr John Smith
0 (0.0%)

Dear Sir
1 (3.6%)

It makes a difference if you're...

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not at work
20 (69.0%)

writing to Jane Smith instead of John
4 (13.8%)

an inferior, a superior, or an equal
18 (62.1%)

trying to be polite
14 (48.3%)

talking to them face-to-face
18 (62.1%)

Questions? Comments?

Comments

[gillo]

I wrote a detailed reply and DW swallowed it. Grr.

In letters I'd tend to stay formal, email perhaps less so. In both cases I tend to be guided by how my correspondent addresses me - if s/he replied "Dear Gill" I would be likely to respond with "Dear John" unless it was an unpleasant conversation. I do not give my gas supplier permission to use my first name if I've written with a complaint!

As my full given name is Gillian, which nobody but my mother uses, my hackles immediately rise at "Dear Gillian", which mixes impertinence with evidence that the writer does not know me.

If in doubt I err on the formal side in letters, somewhat less formal in e-mail. However, most of my work letters are to parents anyway, and they tend automatically to be more formal.