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dish fairness in an unequal world
Currently reading lots of discussions on marriagey stuff like... housework.
I seem to be the only person in the world who doesn't think that the fairest way to split it is:
- one person does the cooking
- the other person does the dishes
The thing is, there are ways to cook, and then there are ways.
It's possible to cook something in a way which ends up with dishes strewn all over the kitchen. It's possible to cook something in a single dish. It's possible to cook something while washing dishes as you go.
And I agree - in a world where Person A and Person B both cook food and end up with 6 dirty dishes, then the fairest scenario is:
night 1 - A cooks, B does the 6 dishes
night 2 - B cooks, A does the 6 dishes
...and so on, ad infinitum.
However, this is rarely the world I find myself in.
Most commonly, it ends up something more like:
night 1 - A cooks, B does the 6 dishes
night 2 - B cooks, A does the 27 dishes
Or:
night 1 - A cooks, B does the 6 dishes
night 2 - B cooks, B does the 6 dishes while cooking, A has the night off
And, either way, one person ends up with a disproportionate dish load.
Realistically, some dinners will create more dirty dishes than others. And some styles of cooking will create more dirty dishes than others. And, as a rule, the person who is doing the cooking will be the one who chooses what to cook, and how to cook it.
That being the case, I tend to prefer each cook doing their own cooking dishes - with the other person chipping in to do the dishes from eating the food.
So, thoughts? Am I totally weird?
I seem to be the only person in the world who doesn't think that the fairest way to split it is:
- one person does the cooking
- the other person does the dishes
The thing is, there are ways to cook, and then there are ways.
It's possible to cook something in a way which ends up with dishes strewn all over the kitchen. It's possible to cook something in a single dish. It's possible to cook something while washing dishes as you go.
And I agree - in a world where Person A and Person B both cook food and end up with 6 dirty dishes, then the fairest scenario is:
night 1 - A cooks, B does the 6 dishes
night 2 - B cooks, A does the 6 dishes
...and so on, ad infinitum.
However, this is rarely the world I find myself in.
Most commonly, it ends up something more like:
night 1 - A cooks, B does the 6 dishes
night 2 - B cooks, A does the 27 dishes
Or:
night 1 - A cooks, B does the 6 dishes
night 2 - B cooks, B does the 6 dishes while cooking, A has the night off
And, either way, one person ends up with a disproportionate dish load.
Realistically, some dinners will create more dirty dishes than others. And some styles of cooking will create more dirty dishes than others. And, as a rule, the person who is doing the cooking will be the one who chooses what to cook, and how to cook it.
That being the case, I tend to prefer each cook doing their own cooking dishes - with the other person chipping in to do the dishes from eating the food.
So, thoughts? Am I totally weird?
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