Basically: if that's your doctrine, teach people to be abstinent before marriage and pure in mind. But teach people that and acknowledge that it's harder for some and easier for others, but don't make it about gender, because it's really, really not.

Exactly. I've been sort of amused to realize that I and radical feminists are in vehement agreement that men's and women's sexual activities should not be judged differently and that they should both be held to the same standard. It's just that radical feminists and I disagree on which standard this should be. :)

It's weird, but I never noticed the difference growing up in the church. Maybe I never paid attention? I never got the impression from my youth group leaders that guys having premarital sex was any less harmful or wrong than girls having premarital sex. I'm pretty much have had to have the dichotomy spelled out to me as an adult - by Gabs, for starters, in some of her feminism posts - and at first I was completely mystified. Really? People really view these two things differently?

Maybe I'm just fortunate. Score another one for homeschooling.